Time for Big Talk

Silhouette father and son by Unsplash

We all know small talk. It's not so bad. But is it interesting? Meh. Personally, I prefer deep conversations. Dreams, ideas, beliefs, fears... People can talk about so much and say so little, and then they tell you about a big topic, and your whole perspective changes. Bam! I love those moments. They can be scary, but they're real.


That extrovert friend of mine that organizes all the parties and is talking 75% of the time? He's actually insecure and worried that people don't like him. I would never have known if he didn't start telling me about his anxiety. We had known each other for almost 5 years! During that time, we've had many great conversations, but only now I felt like I truly knew him.
Things made more sense after that. Why does he stay at this job without growth opportunity? Because he doesn't feel good enough to apply anywhere else. This is only one example, but all the pieces just seemed to fall in place.

Wouldn't it be great to have these moments more often, and faster? I stumbled upon this TED talk a few weeks ago, and my soul was shouting "YES! This is what we need."

Well, this TED talk is quite long, and my soul might be a bit over-enthusiastic from time to time. So, in short: the lady in the video tells about how she felt so alone in college, but since everyone was acting so happy (and society expects you to be happy), she felt like she had no one to talk about it. She discovered later that many students felt the same way, and through some twists and turns she starts a movement she calls "Big Talk". Basically, you ask people meaningful questions instead of having small talk. If you don't feel like watching the whole TED talk, just start watching at 9:10.

If you are not moved by that, I don't know what would move you. I still don't really have the courage to walk up to strangers and strike up a conversation like that, but I would like to try out these questions with friends, or even with myself for self-exploration purposes.

Want to get learn more? Check out www.makebigtalk.com for more information/inspiration, or to order the question cards. Will you try it out? What questions would you ask?